I'd worry less if you kept me more informed, you know...and it's fine. I've been through worse. I can handle it.
[Barely, but he's hanging in there. There's a sharp inhale of breath before he starts.]
Promise me you won't kill Bertolt or Reiner. Unless they attack you or one of us, promise me you won't go out of your way to start a fight with either of them. You have every right in the world, as do I, to be upset and want them dead, but having them dead solves nothing, nor do I condone pointless torture like our superiors indulged in to Reiner, no matter how much he deserves it. I don't want you taken away from me or hurt so please...promise me you won't.
I can't make that promise... especially since I don't disagree with what the commanders did in the first place.
I don't care what happens to them... or their bodies... everyone that dies by the hands of a titan dies a torturous death. I know what it's like to be burning in a titan's belly... they were perfectly fine with hacking my limbs off for their own benefit.
After everything they did, I can't promise to hold back on them.
But it'll accomplish nothing, don't you get it? It'll just land you in trouble!
And I'd agree with you about what happened to Reiner if we were back home but we're not. What's the point of cutting someone's arm off if you're not going to gain anything from it? Any information that you could theoretically obtain will just be forgotten once you return home! What use is it then?!
It's cathartic, Armin. I don't care about gain... I care about getting rid of this pain in my chest for as long as I can. I don't care if those fuckers that caught us torture me within an inch of my life. I've dealt with that before.
At least... at least, in that situation, I'd have some relief.
Then what the fuck am I supposed to do in this situation, Armin? Smile and bear with them? Act like I don't know anything?
You always have answers, right? You always know? Tell me how I'm supposed to face them... to ignore them entirely and let them walk around with carefree lives when their very existences are the reason I have to hear her... break apart every day of my life? The reason everyone around me has died?!
I never said you had to be civil. You don't have to be anything. All I asked was that you don't kill them.
[This conversation was doomed from the beginning. Armin knew that fully when he first messaged him, but he'd had the hope that somehow he could convince his friend, that he'd promise him this one thing. But the timing is wrong and Eren isn't in the right frame of mind to be considerate or understanding.
It hurts. His chest hurts and his head hurts and he hurts for Eren. He doesn't have an answer. Not a good one, anyway. Not one Eren wants to hear.]
I don't have an answer you'll be satisfied with, but I hope you haven't forgotten you're not the only one who hasn't a family or a home anymore thanks to what they and the Titans did.
If it pains you everyday to relive that experience Eren, then you should be a bit more understanding of how I feel toward you...and if you're more than willing to chance the opportunity to make me go through that again...I don't know what to tell you, other than you're being incredibly selfish.
Eren clams up immediately and goes quiet for a long moment. Dead silent, without even a breath as he processes everything he was just hit with. He's so much in his own head, so full of pain and anger that has no where else to go that he's boiling over from all sides.
His head hurts and he feels sick. His arms feel as heavy as lead and his heart is sunk down somewhere deep in him, thudding dully with a bare effort to keep pumping.
None of this was what he wanted. He just wanted some revenge. He just wanted to see the world.
He didn't want all of these walls constantly falling around him. ]
[ And he cuts it off. He's not going to run his mouth anymore. He can't risk it. Not another word. Not right now. He's too full of too many things and this is far from what he was putting so much effort into doing for Armin. ]
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Voice
...I'd rather you make it sooner rather than later.
Voice
... Alright, tell me.
Re: Voice
[Barely, but he's hanging in there. There's a sharp inhale of breath before he starts.]
Promise me you won't kill Bertolt or Reiner. Unless they attack you or one of us, promise me you won't go out of your way to start a fight with either of them. You have every right in the world, as do I, to be upset and want them dead, but having them dead solves nothing, nor do I condone pointless torture like our superiors indulged in to Reiner, no matter how much he deserves it. I don't want you taken away from me or hurt so please...promise me you won't.
Voice
... That promise is even worse than I expected.
Voice
Please. I know I'm asking something nearly impossible from you but please...
Voice
I don't care what happens to them... or their bodies... everyone that dies by the hands of a titan dies a torturous death. I know what it's like to be burning in a titan's belly... they were perfectly fine with hacking my limbs off for their own benefit.
After everything they did, I can't promise to hold back on them.
Voice
And I'd agree with you about what happened to Reiner if we were back home but we're not. What's the point of cutting someone's arm off if you're not going to gain anything from it? Any information that you could theoretically obtain will just be forgotten once you return home! What use is it then?!
Voice
At least... at least, in that situation, I'd have some relief.
Voice
I can't go through you dying again, Eren. I can't. I can't do it.
Voice
You always have answers, right? You always know? Tell me how I'm supposed to face them... to ignore them entirely and let them walk around with carefree lives when their very existences are the reason I have to hear her... break apart every day of my life? The reason everyone around me has died?!
Tell me, Armin! Give me a fucking answer!
Voice
[This conversation was doomed from the beginning. Armin knew that fully when he first messaged him, but he'd had the hope that somehow he could convince his friend, that he'd promise him this one thing. But the timing is wrong and Eren isn't in the right frame of mind to be considerate or understanding.
It hurts. His chest hurts and his head hurts and he hurts for Eren. He doesn't have an answer. Not a good one, anyway. Not one Eren wants to hear.]
I don't have an answer you'll be satisfied with, but I hope you haven't forgotten you're not the only one who hasn't a family or a home anymore thanks to what they and the Titans did.
If it pains you everyday to relive that experience Eren, then you should be a bit more understanding of how I feel toward you...and if you're more than willing to chance the opportunity to make me go through that again...I don't know what to tell you, other than you're being incredibly selfish.
Voice 1/2
Eren clams up immediately and goes quiet for a long moment. Dead silent, without even a breath as he processes everything he was just hit with. He's so much in his own head, so full of pain and anger that has no where else to go that he's boiling over from all sides.
His head hurts and he feels sick. His arms feel as heavy as lead and his heart is sunk down somewhere deep in him, thudding dully with a bare effort to keep pumping.
None of this was what he wanted. He just wanted some revenge. He just wanted to see the world.
He didn't want all of these walls constantly falling around him. ]
Voice
[ And he cuts it off. He's not going to run his mouth anymore. He can't risk it. Not another word. Not right now. He's too full of too many things and this is far from what he was putting so much effort into doing for Armin. ]