essen | (no subject)

Listen, that's a scary thing to fuckin' hear someone say. It's not your fault, you probably don't have to worry about it for the most part, though it might not be a bad idea to just have some personal lubricant around. But, fuck... gear oil... that's asking for disaster.

Mm, well, I think you need a harness. If you can find one that fits it, that might work. I can come with you to look. I don't really know what I'm doing there, since I don't need one, but it's better than running in solo.

... I make a lot of bad mistakes in my life, Sasha. Like, a lot. Like, constantly I make stupid fucking mistakes. Fucking Bertolt has been a recurring one. Just so you know, Reiner was also pretty big. Don't get caught between them if you don't want to sleep for half the day afterward.

Sorry.

[This all makes her feel dumb. Just when she thought she had a handle on this sex thing...]

So the gear harness won't work either, right? Okay. I understand.

[She's not going to tell him fucking Bertolt and Reiner wasn't a mistake, but Sasha is pretty sure Eren won't take kindly to that considering everything else.]

After I get the lubricant and the harness, what else?

Yeah, it won't hold it, I don't think. It's be a pain the whole time.

Mm, if you plan to have vaginal sex, pick up some condoms. Otherwise, you're probably set with what I've mentioned.

So, then I guess it's process...

Um... I don't think I'll be having vaginal sex. The paper doesn't say anything about that.

So what's the process? I don't just stick it in, right?

Right, don't just stick it in. You need to use your hands to... prep the person. With the lubricant. So, your fingers, one at a time. You can' be kinda liberal with the lubricant, honestly, just in case. Basically, you want them to be kind of stretched and accustomed to the presence of something in them the size of your toy.

...My hands?

[Wait. She has to put her fingers up there? In their butt? No one prepared her for this much!]

... Both of you should shower first and if it bothers you that much, get gloves like I mentioned.

I... [She hums a little, sounding unsure about what she's saying next.] I don't know him to tell him to take a shower first.

[Hell, she doesn't even know what an arcade is, except she has to go there and stick something up this guy's ass. It's enough to make her grumble out of frustration.]

Do you think I'll get into trouble if I don't do what this letter says?

It's a basic courtesy. Ask him nicely. You're capable of that way more than I am.

... Like me or any of the other guys are gonna let them do anything to you if you decide not to do it?

I guess so...

Could you really stop them from taking me to re-ed? I get that I can just ask you guys anytime, but I mean if I didn't do this one thing they are telling me to, would I get into trouble. It doesn't say it, but it came from the government so...

... I honestly don't know, Sasha, but I will not-- I will not let them drag you or anyone else in our squad off to that place.

If it comes down to it, I'll go in your stead. I don't care.

No. You can't do that. I won't let you. [She takes a deep yet shaky breath.] If I could join the Survey Corps, I can do this. Just tell me what I need to do.

I'll do what I want.

Alright, if you're sure about it.

You're so hardheaded. [But she's laughing so she means it with love.] I'm sure. I'll go to the store for that harness, maybe watch more TV and see if they do it there too.

That'll help, too.