essen | (no subject)

...I remember that.

I had a feeling we knew the same things.

A few things have happened since then, Eren.

What's the last thing you remember?

It's...embarrassing.

If you don't wanna say, you don't have to... though I don't know what the hell would be happening during that time that would embarrass you.

_{[As much as he doesn't want to say it, he wants to be able to talk about it with someone, since the person who was involved with him doesn't want to hear it.]}

...You and Christa were being sought after so you had to go into hiding. The Commander ordered Jean and I to dress up as you and Christa respectively and deliberately end up kidnapped. He had me dress up as Christa because of how tall I am and how I look...it's embarrassing and being tied to that chair was even more so.

_{[If not utterly disgusting. The thought of that man's hands still makes him cringe inwardly.]}

That's how I arrived here too - in a skirt and wig of all things.

[ ... that's unexpected. He's used to Jean being unfortunately chosen to pose as him but Armin? As Christa? He lifts his head and looks at him, nose scrunched up, like he can't quite see how that was even pulled off. ]

And who found you?

_{[It was apparently pretty convincing.]}

This unsettling man named Sephiroth. He's apparently an angel. Marco found me shortly after but I ran away from him...he thought I was Christa at first. Jean did too when we went back to their apartment.

A what? An angel?

[ He gives Armin an incredulous look. He isn't sure he's heard of an angel before. ]

How can't they tell the difference? Your noses alone...

They're supposed to be messengers of God. They're people with feathered wings sprouting from their backs. At least that's how they're depicted in stories and art.

_{[There's a little sigh then.]}

Well, I'm glad someone can.

Those things aren't real. Are you sure you didn't just hit your head?

[ C'mon, Mr. Heretic. ]

You've got a lot of differences to you... actually, when I think about it, I think your hips might even be curvier than hers, too. So even your silhouette is different than Christa's.

Sephiroth is very real, Eren. And creepy. He touched my face. I thought I was going to puke.

_{[What? Anything is possible here, Eren! As for his hips he glances down at himself, still nestled in Eren's lap.]}

...Are they really that curvy?

Did you punch him? I'll go fucking punch him!

[ He bites his cheek. Too loud. Ymir will come out and murder him in his sleep. Dam. ]

Not that curvy. She's just thinner than you. I think it's because she walks a lot with Ymir.

[ That's not better. ]

I ran away. He's someone even the Captain warned me about. He's not someone to mess with.

_{[There's a small sigh.]}

...It's not a bad thing, is it?

Captain Levi knows about this guy, too? Damn... there's dangerous things everywhere we go.

What? No. Just saying, you look different in plenty of ways.

We really can't catch a break, huh.

_{[It's then Armin decides to snatch up one of Eren's hands, tracing the lines in his palm absentmindedly with a finger.]}

If you say so...

[ Eren just lets him hold his hand as he likes, the other remaining behind his back. ]

We never have... never will.

[ He quirks a brow. ]

What'd be bad about it?

I'd like to think we will someday, Eren.

_{[It wasn't exactly bad but...]}

I don't know...I guess there's nothing really bad about it but I never really thought my body was impressive or noteworthy in any regard. Everyone in our division thought Christa was practically a goddess because of how kind and pretty she was. If people couldn't really tell me apart from her when I was dressed up, or at the very least thought I was a girl too...then they're focusing on what I look like, rather than what I'm capable of. Maybe I'm being dramatic about it, or overly sensitive...but being in that situation back home, especially in that warehouse, I felt objectified Eren. It's a disgusting feeling. People treat you differently when they think you're a girl...and it isn't always pleasant.

Maybe when we get away from other people, we'll all be fine.

I'm not exactly a person who's ever going to get mistaken for a girl, but still... it's not like anyone in the squad is worried about anyone's looks right now. The commanders turn to you because you're the most capable person among us in a pinch and that's all there is to it.

Anyway, I guess you got a mean lesson. Remember it the next time you talk to Mikasa or Sasha, right? Or even sit with Christa and have a chat if you can breach that true self of her's that's come out.

_{[Bless Eren's heart, really. Armin couldn't fault him for sort of missing the point, what with how Armin had phrased everything. Still he can't help his shoulders from sagging.]}

I didn't mean it that way...that girls are weak. I've never thought that once in my life.

_{[He'll just leave it be though. There's no point to bring it up. Eren doesn't need to worry more so than he already does.]}

Actually...Christa sat down with all of us and told us all about her. It was a pretty heavy conversation.

I know that, Armin, but still, lesson's a lesson, right?

Really? She finally piped up?

It...It wasn't like...you're misunder... _{[Eren don't put it that way. If the look on Armin's face is any indication of what's going on inside his head, he's very close to being upset.]} Nevermind.

Yes, she did.

[ Eren may have lacked tact and been behind in empathy but he can at least tell when Armin's upset. He has missed something here... he frowns, squeezing with the arm looped around his waist and kissing his lips as Armin had done to him before, supposing that he wouldn't perform such an act if he wouldn't appreciate the gesture himself. ] Sorry... I'm sorry, Armin... sorry.

I thought she was going to shut off like that for good.

_{[The small kiss placates him enough, drawing him back from the edge of potential tears. It's appreciated and he quickly relaxes once more, Eren's apology reaching his ears.]} ...It's okay.

She spilled her whole past to us. I'm afraid if I start talking about her though Ymir might wake up.

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